I've been re-reading a book that I read almost 28 years ago... Affliction by Edith Schaeffer. I read it while bedridden for two months while pregnant in Bolivia. The doctor had told me the chances of saving the pregnancy were slim. I'd had constant bleeding during my first trimester. I spent a lot of time in prayer, mostly questioning God why I had to spend all that time in bed. I remember praying, "If I'm going to lose the baby anyway, why not just lose it now, rather than spend weeks in bed? And if the baby will survive, why not make me better right now, rather than make me spend weeks in bed? I just don't get it!!"
The book impacted me greatly, because it brought home to me that no matter what would be the earthly outcome of my trial, each and every moment spent in that bed was a unique opportunity to trust Him and win spiritual battles. Here's a paragraph that might bring home the concept better than my own feeble words.
"On the day when the believers' rewards are given out, we will be craning our necks to see who is being given a shining reward and some special treasure. I am sure that we will be astounded at the things that were counted 'the greatest' and the things that were counted 'the least.' There is no one who is shut away from having a victory (or even a whole string of victories in the heavenly battle) because of wheelchair lives, hospital walls, prison bars, concentration-camp barbed wire, desert abandonment, nursing-home loneliness, mundane work in some wilderness spot, or absence of another human being over miles of lonely farmland to be worked on a tractor. None of us can know which shock or illness (headache or operation, disappointment or disillusionment with a friend, criticism or other human attack, loss of job or loss of house and land, news of a close loved one's death, or totally destructive earthquake) will turn out to be the most important opportunity we are ever going to have to honestly love God and truly trust Him in a way which will bring Him joy and defeat Satan. We cannot know which is the most important moment in our lives. Its arrival won't be announced with a blast of silver horns or a blare of an orchestra's full crescendo. Our most important moment can come when no one but God and Satan are aware of it, when our response to the Lord is one which wins at once a battle which could have left a horrible tear or hole in the fabric of history."
Thankfully, our daughter Kari is the blessing that came after those long bedridden days! But, we cannot be guaranteed of a joyful outcome on earth. One thing we CAN do, is trust Him in the midst of whatever circumstances we are experiencing right now, knowing that this might be our shining moment in history... even if no one else on earth notices!
