We both have had significant ministry breakthroughs - and a few struggles - throughout the week (Woody more than I, as I continue in convalescence). Any one of them could make a knee mail that would challenge your thinking and, hopefully, send you to your knees in prayer. In spite of some obvious challenges, we do rejoice that God is at work in Latin America and beyond. (ITeams Costa Rica now has 60 missionaries in Latin America and 12 in other parts of the world.)
Allow me to share from my heart some thoughts in the night as I spend most of those now sleeping in the recliner.
My acid reflux is very bad despite strict diet and medications, so I cannot lie down at night. Even sitting, I have reflux and have to take antacid liquid before I go to sleep and again in the middle of the night. Amazing how the acid can defy gravity! That is only one of many discomforts I am struggling through - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It seems I'm in an ongoing battle raging on all sides, night and day.
So, as I "went to chair" last night (since, technically, I do not "go to bed"), I had to swallow hard once again, and make a conscious choice that I would count on Him to be my All in All. I pulled out my dog-eared copy of Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael and read that acceptance does not equal acquiescence in illness.
As far as we know, neither Job nor Paul ever knew why their prayers for relief were answered as they were. Yet, down through the centuries, their examples have strengthened the will of many who have chosen to trust in the midst of adversity. Carmichael wrote, "Hardly a life that goes deep but has tragedy somewhere within it."
I then turned to a book I've been reading and talking over by phone with my parents: A Path Through Suffering by Elizabeth Elliot. It caused me to think on the phrase "My grace is sufficient." Sufficient means just enough. Not a crumb left over, but enough.
Sometimes I feel like His grace doesn't quite reach because there are no crumbs left over from one hour, one minute, maybe even one second to the next. But, it is sufficient. If I need wisdom, he will give sufficient wisdom. If I need strength, it will be there in exact proportion to the difficulties of the day. If I need guidance, the Shepherd will show me the next step to take. If I need comfort, the Comforter will give me just enough.
God tied these two book themes together, as only He can do. Elizabeth Elliot wrote, "God said no to Paul's pleas because he was to bring forth, for the sake of the rest of us, the beautiful flower of acceptance, a gift of grace, enough for his need... Could he know of the millions who would be cheered and comforted by his example of quiet acceptance of a painful thing which he knew God could have removed?" It was not his business to know. His business was to accept the answer given - "grace, in the measure needed."
I fell asleep thinking on grace sufficient for each of the times I would wake in the night and for the discomforts to be faced in the new day - trusting that maybe someone else, somewhere might take courage because, sitting up in my recliner late Friday night, I chose to rely on Him as my All in All, even when questions remain.
