All roads lead to Rome. Since being diagnosed with a large Tarlov cyst in the sacrum, I've discovered that many of my longstanding health issues actually are due to this one, stinking, aggressive cyst! Funny how something within my very own body could secretly erode away bone and stretch out its tentacles to press on one key nerve after another.
This has gone on for years and years. Sometimes I've gone to doctors about symptoms, but since they couldn't really see a REASON for a problem, they've responded with suggestions on how to manage one symptom or another. I have struggled with explaining my aches and pains and woes. People who know me well have often wondered why I get battered with one health problem after another. I've sometimes wondered if I'm a "Creative Hypochondriac!
But now, after many, many years of troubles, it's as if the cyst lifted its head to wink and say, "See all the havoc I've caused and you never knew I was even here!"
Sadly, the possibilities of getting some relief are limited. And, just to get an appointment for an assessment takes two months.
Now that the cyst has "come out," I am battling with symptoms which have ganged up and formed an effective offensive line. Though my doctors are on board and working with us, I'm finding it very difficult to take medicine that will take the edge off the pain but not leave me groggy and nauseated. So far, we haven't figured that out. So, if I end this blog entry with a bunch of jibberish, you can know that the pain medicine is turning my brain into mush.
You probably wouldn't want to know if I offered to tell you, all the ways the cyst is making its presence known. jklsjc,wuoivjks. djlsj.
I think that meamans I needs a arest. Pray for me as you recall the phrase, :Cysta Happen@"
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
When the Wind is Blowing Hard...
"If we want to know whether a building will stand strong or not, we look at it when the wind is blowing hard." - Jonathan Edwards
Missionaries should write about good spiritual stuff... opening new ministries, sending out missionaries, investing in national leaders, caring for missionaries on the field, seeing people saved and making disciples.
But, what happens when the wind blows hard? Difficulties aren't always glamorous. Sometimes they are very personal. Sometimes they are minimal. Sometimes they are major. Sometimes they are the kind of things that words can't wrap themselves around. They don't make good "knee-mails." Then, what do we do?
Well, seriously, folks... that's the dilemma I face today. For me... for us... there are a few twists and turns in our journey that feel dramatic, and not in the fun sense of the word. As many of you know, I've wrestled with several health issues for a long time. Most recently I've had hip pain and other "system failures," which even required surgery... twice in the past six months. The surgeries were unsuccessful, and now we think we know why. When the "bursitis" in my hip didn't seem to improve and the symptoms spread to my other hip as well as my back and legs, my doctor here in Costa Rica ordered an MRI. It showed that I have a very unusual type of large cyst buried in my sacrum, possibly putting pressure on several key nerves.
We are happy that we might know the cause of many of my discomforts and dysfunctions, but it's also "unnerving" (forgive the pun!) that there are no easy answers. These have been times of prayer peppered with seasons of struggles to pray at all; sensing a closeness to God alternating with moments of crying out, "Where are You, God?" Both of us have had moments of sadness washing over us. But, we are also determined to trust God and step forward hand in hand through whatever those next steps will be.
We are so honored that many of you pray for us each day and are a vital part of all that God has been doing in us and through this ministry. We are still very involved in ministry, but at the same time going through a number of tests and seeing specialists while fighting pain and other very real health struggles. Now, we ask you to keep walking beside us during this difficult phase.
Pray for wisdom for the doctors and for us as we continue to learn and investigate in order to find the best help available. Pray for me as I get tired of pain, sleeping poorly, and experiencing other difficulties. Pray for the two of us as we walk through new territory together and as we lean harder than ever on HIM.
I'll close with a quote from a sermon that has recently impacted both of us, preached by AJ Gossip about 80 years ago.* In the sermon he makes reference to the character "Hopeful" from Pilgrim's Progress and also to Paul's penned words, "What can separate us from His love?" Not death, he says right away, pushing aside the most obvious of all impossibilities.
"For, standing in the roaring of the Jordan, cold to the heart with its dreadful chill, and very conscious of the terror of its rushing, I too, like Hopeful, can call back to you who one day in your turn will have to cross it, 'Be of good cheer, my brother, for I feel the bottom, and it is sound.'"
Don't worry... this new diagnosis is not life-threatening. But, it does feel a bit like we are standing in the cold rushing water, our toes scrabbling for the bottom, trusting it is sound.
*This is the sermon Gossip preached the week his wife died unexpectedly.
Missionaries should write about good spiritual stuff... opening new ministries, sending out missionaries, investing in national leaders, caring for missionaries on the field, seeing people saved and making disciples.
But, what happens when the wind blows hard? Difficulties aren't always glamorous. Sometimes they are very personal. Sometimes they are minimal. Sometimes they are major. Sometimes they are the kind of things that words can't wrap themselves around. They don't make good "knee-mails." Then, what do we do?
Well, seriously, folks... that's the dilemma I face today. For me... for us... there are a few twists and turns in our journey that feel dramatic, and not in the fun sense of the word. As many of you know, I've wrestled with several health issues for a long time. Most recently I've had hip pain and other "system failures," which even required surgery... twice in the past six months. The surgeries were unsuccessful, and now we think we know why. When the "bursitis" in my hip didn't seem to improve and the symptoms spread to my other hip as well as my back and legs, my doctor here in Costa Rica ordered an MRI. It showed that I have a very unusual type of large cyst buried in my sacrum, possibly putting pressure on several key nerves.
We are happy that we might know the cause of many of my discomforts and dysfunctions, but it's also "unnerving" (forgive the pun!) that there are no easy answers. These have been times of prayer peppered with seasons of struggles to pray at all; sensing a closeness to God alternating with moments of crying out, "Where are You, God?" Both of us have had moments of sadness washing over us. But, we are also determined to trust God and step forward hand in hand through whatever those next steps will be.
We are so honored that many of you pray for us each day and are a vital part of all that God has been doing in us and through this ministry. We are still very involved in ministry, but at the same time going through a number of tests and seeing specialists while fighting pain and other very real health struggles. Now, we ask you to keep walking beside us during this difficult phase.
Pray for wisdom for the doctors and for us as we continue to learn and investigate in order to find the best help available. Pray for me as I get tired of pain, sleeping poorly, and experiencing other difficulties. Pray for the two of us as we walk through new territory together and as we lean harder than ever on HIM.
I'll close with a quote from a sermon that has recently impacted both of us, preached by AJ Gossip about 80 years ago.* In the sermon he makes reference to the character "Hopeful" from Pilgrim's Progress and also to Paul's penned words, "What can separate us from His love?" Not death, he says right away, pushing aside the most obvious of all impossibilities.
"For, standing in the roaring of the Jordan, cold to the heart with its dreadful chill, and very conscious of the terror of its rushing, I too, like Hopeful, can call back to you who one day in your turn will have to cross it, 'Be of good cheer, my brother, for I feel the bottom, and it is sound.'"
Don't worry... this new diagnosis is not life-threatening. But, it does feel a bit like we are standing in the cold rushing water, our toes scrabbling for the bottom, trusting it is sound.
*This is the sermon Gossip preached the week his wife died unexpectedly.
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