The Yuiguirro

This is a poem I wrote a few months ago... still in the process of writing, but thought I'd share it...
(The yiguirro is Costa Rica's national bird. It sings for only about 3 months of the year. When it sings, it sings its heart out from before dawn until evening.)

There are times I am too tired to even desire
   nothing left inside to be refreshed.
Can fatigue annihilate that which used to be
   that resilience which has so often saved me from collapse?

I awake and hear the yiguirro and look at the clock.
   3:30AM.
I try hard to offer understanding to this
  plain-looking, time-impaired bird
  with a lovely, yet loud, monotonous song.

Sadly, the yiguirro no longer nests in my mind as the national bird
  but as an alarm sounding relentless, exhausting pain.
"Not even sleep will give you a break,"
   he chirps cheerfully.

Delayed or Different Answers to Prayer

"Delayed [or different than hoped for] answers to prayer are not only trials of faith, but they give us opportunities of honoring God by our steadfast confidence in Him under apparent repulses." - Spurgeon

Long Time, No Post - Foolish Things - Even Now

I will be brief for now... I haven't been able to figure out some blogspot changes that had me scratching my head as to how to post! But, I've got it figured out now and hope to begin posting some of the things I'm going through and the thoughts that provokes... just in case anyone is interested!

Here's lyrics my team mate Jimmy sent... spoke to me this morning.

Trouble came
Broke your door
Crushed your name
Robbed you poor

You feel He’s gone
Or fast asleep
All’s gone wrong
You’re in too deep

He hasn’t left you out to dry
Even Now
You haven’t left
His watching eye
Even Now
So children sing it when you don’t see how
My Father’s worthy of my hope
Even now

The feeling’s gone
You’re wondering
If you heard Him wrong
If he’s listening

The same old fear
The same old haze
Is God not here?
Is His hand raised?

Could this be part of any good plan?
Seems to be you’ve fallen out of His hand

When you’re broken, don’t know how to mend
Even Now
When your tunnel’s still dark at the end
Even Now
His children don’t know why but trust their Father’s at their side
So hold His hand -hold up your hope
EVEN NOW

Going to Chair

We both have had significant ministry breakthroughs - and a few struggles - throughout the week (Woody more than I, as I continue in convalescence). Any one of them could make a knee mail that would challenge your thinking and, hopefully, send you to your knees in prayer. In spite of some obvious challenges, we do rejoice that God is at work in Latin America and beyond. (ITeams Costa Rica now has 60 missionaries in Latin America and 12 in other parts of the world.)

Allow me to share from my heart some thoughts in the night as I spend most of those now sleeping in the recliner.

My acid reflux is very bad despite strict diet and medications, so I cannot lie down at night. Even sitting, I have reflux and have to take antacid liquid before I go to sleep and again in the middle of the night. Amazing how the acid can defy gravity! That is only one of many discomforts I am struggling through - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It seems I'm in an ongoing battle raging on all sides, night and day.

So, as I "went to chair" last night (since, technically, I do not "go to bed"), I had to swallow hard once again, and make a conscious choice that I would count on Him to be my All in All. I pulled out my dog-eared copy of Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael and read that acceptance does not equal acquiescence in illness.

As far as we know, neither Job nor Paul ever knew why their prayers for relief were answered as they were. Yet, down through the centuries, their examples have strengthened the will of many who have chosen to trust in the midst of adversity. Carmichael wrote, "Hardly a life that goes deep but has tragedy somewhere within it."

I then turned to a book I've been reading and talking over by phone with my parents: A Path Through Suffering by Elizabeth Elliot. It caused me to think on the phrase "My grace is sufficient." Sufficient means just enough. Not a crumb left over, but enough.

Sometimes I feel like His grace doesn't quite reach because there are no crumbs left over from one hour, one minute, maybe even one second to the next. But, it is sufficient. If I need wisdom, he will give sufficient wisdom. If I need strength, it will be there in exact proportion to the difficulties of the day. If I need guidance, the Shepherd will show me the next step to take. If I need comfort, the Comforter will give me just enough.

God tied these two book themes together, as only He can do. Elizabeth Elliot wrote, "God said no to Paul's pleas because he was to bring forth, for the sake of the rest of us, the beautiful flower of acceptance, a gift of grace, enough for his need... Could he know of the millions who would be cheered and comforted by his example of quiet acceptance of a painful thing which he knew God could have removed?" It was not his business to know. His business was to accept the answer given - "grace, in the measure needed."

I fell asleep thinking on grace sufficient for each of the times I would wake in the night and for the discomforts to be faced in the new day - trusting that maybe someone else, somewhere might take courage because, sitting up in my recliner late Friday night, I chose to rely on Him as my All in All, even when questions remain.