I'm Not a Whiner, I'm a Groaner!

I find I am not bouncing back as quickly after surgery as I would like. I'm really trying not to be a whiner. I think I'm really quite good at a number of things in life - whining, for instance! I probably have reason to whine - my legs ache, I'm uncomfortable, I can't sleep well... I'd tell you more, but I might sound like I'm whining!

After getting back to Costa Rica again, my goal was to become less of a wimp each day. (In other words, I really wanted to steadily get my strength back and slowly get back to my normal activity level.) After a few days, I felt like I'd made no progress. I had little stamina, I felt a bit sad and discouraged, and even my recent fresh encounters with the Lord Jesus were only seen in the rear view mirror. As I took a slow, truncated Celestial Walk one morning, I was praying from Hebrews 12. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

I began to pray, "Lord, I'm not sure this present trial falls into the category of discipline, but I sure know it isn't pleasant! My worry, though, is that I feel like I'm just trying to get through to the other side. I've given up on becoming less of a wimp, and now just hope to get through it - even if it means I come out a weaker person. I have the feeling that's not what You want from me. I think You're OK with me being weak. But, it would be a crying shame to simply endure and not see any harvest of righteousness or peace as a result. Do what You need to so that I won't put this trial to waste."

I can't say anything has changed dramatically. I'm still slugging my way through the trial - mostly sidelined, spending a lot of time between the couch and the bed! But, my attitude has changed. I read this week in Romans 5:3 about exulting in our tribulations, knowing that they bring about perseverance. I'm learning to exult in my trials. I'm learning to "sink into my weakness," as my good friend Sarah wrote me. I want to be a good steward of these tribulations, coming out with better character. According to Romans 8, all of creation (us included) are groaning (along with the Holy Spirit), "waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." If groaning is good enough for the Holy Spirit, it's good enough for you and me!

I am determined not to be a whiner today, but I WILL be a groaner!